Sunday, December 11, 2011

Trailers! Trailers! Trailers!

I've never done a weekly column dedicated to trailers because the truth is, you never know what a week's going to bring in that department. Sometimes there won't be a trailer worth mentioning for a month, then we get a stretch like this in which I simply could not keep up. Please enjoy what will undoubtedly be the most extensive Trailers! Trailers! Trailers! ever.

In order to keep expectations low (really low), we start off with The Three Stooges, courtesy to you by the Farrelley Brothers; you know, the guys that brought you Hall Pass! You know how you know a movie is going to be bad? When a scene involving Snooki is the best shot in the trailer.

Next up is Madagascar 3 featuring a long list of solid voice actors. Before How to Train Your Dragon, I think the first Madagascar is at least in the conversation for Dreamworks' best animated feature and I genuinely like it. The sequel was worthless. Judging from this trailer, the third installment looks like it could be closer in quality to the first one.

This brings us to The Five-Year Engagement, which features Jason Segel and Emily Blunt. This movie comes with a serious comedy pedigree (produced by Judd Apatow, director by Nicholas Stoller of Muppets and Forgetting Sarah Marshall fame). This trailer, though, makes me slightly nervous. I love Emily Blunt but I'm not entirely sure she can flourish in this environment.

Now to the previews you're really here to see. I think we can all agree that Men in Black is a stellar popcorn flick. Smart, fun, exceptionally entertaining. Likewise, we all know for a fact that Men in Black II is one of the worst movies of the decade. It's not up for debate. So what should we expect to get from Men in Black 3? Honestly, I have no idea. As an unabashed Will Smith fan, I've been looking forward to this film for a while now. I'm nervous.

Last but not least, I present to you the first trailer for GI Joe: Retaliation. 2009's GI Joe is an atrocity and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise. Just horrible. I'd like to believe this sequel will be much better in a Fast Five/Expendables kind of way. It certainly won't hurt to have a White Stripes song rocking the background like it does in this trailer.


  1. Um... Is Willis Sgt. Slaughter? Because that would be incredible.

  2. Nevermind. He will be playing Joe Colton, the real life original G.I. Joe.

  3. If nothing else, I think we can all agree that Bruce Willis' involvement with a movie at least increases the odds that it'll be entertaining, right?


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