You're just going to have to bear with it this week, dear readers. This is a rough crop of DVD releases. I apologize to you, the consumer, on behalf of Hollywood.
Avatar Super Special Ridiculous Take Even More Money From You Edition (2009) - Sam Worthington, Sigourney Weaver, Zoe Saldana
The highest-earning movie in the history of film comes back with a special edition (just in time for the Holidays!) that is chock full of bonus features and will further change the face of the world. I've soured more than a bit on "Avatar" but can you really blame me (and everyone else I know)? By the time the Academy Awards rolled around last year I think everyone who is not related to James Cameron was tired of this thing and its endless marketing stream. It really is a good movie, it's just been oversold through the last year. This won't help.
The Last Airbender (2010) - Noah Ringer, Dev Patel
Based on the highly successful Nickelodeon animated series, "The Last Airbender" is a virtual lock for nomination as the worst movie of the year. M. Night Shyamalan continues to do his very best to erase the many fond memories I have of the man's pre-"Lady in the Water" work. Seriously, what the heck happened? Here's the thing about this atrocity. No one, NO ONE, has anything good to say about it. It apparently can't even qualify in the "it's so bad that you just have to love it" category. My brother, who likes some of the most God-awful movies that man has ever conceived, when asked about this movie just shook his head and looked at the ground as if to say, "I'll never see that money again and wasting it might be a top 10 worst mistake of my life." Where have you gone, M. Night?
A Christmas Carol - Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman, Colin Firth
The overdone, over-budgeted, over-anticipated classic tale of Scrooge as told by Disney and Robert Zemeckis. This thing was set up for failure when the studio decided it would be a good idea to release a Christmas movie during the first week of November after its cost soared into the $200 million range. I'm sure I'll check this out at some point but I'm not running out to see it. While I'm on the subject: Hey, Robert Zemeckis! Remember when you made awesome live-action movies like "Back to the Future?" How 'bout we try that again, considering your last three movies have been over-hyped super-special animated films that have all tanked. People love "Back to the Future" almost as much as they hate "Beowulf." Just a thought.
The Kids Are All Right (2010) - Julianne Moore, Annette Bening, Mark Ruffalo
The alternative-family drama centering around a pair of lesbians (Moore and Bening) whose children become curious and begin to investigate the identity of their biological father (Ruffalo). This movie is bound to see several nominations when award season gets here so it's on the queue even though none of these actors do anything for me.
Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010) - Chris O'donnell, Bette Midler
True story: I have seen the first "Cats and Dogs" movie. I ran a kid's summer camp one year in Searcy, Arkansas (see: absolute middle of nowhere) and every week the local theater (see: the shadiest place on earth) showed a different children's movie for free. One week brought "Cats and Dogs" into my life and let me tell you it was truly retched. I had to contemplate whether I would a.) quit my job and leave 35 kids stranded in the theater; b.) hang myself in the theater bathroom; or c.) try to summon the will to live and show these fragile minds that there are kid's movies worth seeing out there. I begrudgingly chose option C and we started doing our own movie days at the gym. It was a better summer after that. That's all I have to say about this movie.