New Movie Friday!

The whipping of Summer 2010 continues. Blerg.

Wide Release
"Killers" - Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher
In a remake of the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie action movie "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," a happy marriage is upturned when it is discovered that Kutcher is a professional assassin who's being pursued by other assassins. Wait, this isn't a remake? Could have fooled me. I cannot stand Heigl, for one thing, and it looks completely cliche for another. Geez, even this poster looks awful. Out.
Rated: C3-PO

"Get Him to the Greek" - Jonah Hill, Russell Brand
A nerdy music assistant (Hill) is assigned the task of getting a legendary rock star (Brand) to LA in time for a concert. This is a spin off from 2008's "Forgetting Sarah Marshall." This also looks extremely cliche and the reviews have (mostly) been lackluster.
Rated: C3-PO

"Marmaduke" - Owen Wilson, Lee Pace, George Lopez
Based on the Sunday comic strip, a family with a huge dog (Wilson), moves to LA to start anew and shenanigans ensue. This looks like it was fast tracked to the screen and judging by the relative lack of advertisement, I imagine even the studio isn't all that impressed.
Rated: Gob Bluth

"Splice" - Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley
Two genetic scientists roll past the boundary of ethics in their attempt to make a breakthrough. In the process they create a human-hybrid creature that quickly becomes violent and unstable. I'm not into this genre of film but the reviews have been strong to quite strong. This could end up being a surprise hit as it had a pretty low production budget.
Rated: Wahlberg

Limited Release
"Ondine" - Colin Ferrell
A modern day fairy tale about a fisherman (Ferrell) who nets a woman who turns out to be a mythical creature of some sort. I admit I'd never heard of this movie until yesterday when a review popped up on Movieline. I find myself intrigued.
Rated: Wahlberg

Rating Definitions:
Bauer - So packed with awesome I'll probably be there opening day.
Ludacris - I'm excited to see it but also concerned about some red flags, like anytime a rapper is in the cast.
Vote for Pedro - I'll put off seeing it and hope I'll be pleasantly surprised.
Wahlberg - I'll pick up the DVD and for some reason enjoy it.
Gob Bluth - The phrase, "I've made a huge mistake" is likely to be uttered if and when I do see it.
C3-PO - The odds of me seeing it are similar to the odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field.
Travolta - No way, no how will I willingly see this; similar to the odds John Travolta has of ever winning an Oscar.