Friday, November 4, 2011

Weekend Movie Guide - 11/4

"Tower Heist" - Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Casey Affleck, Alan Alda, Matthew Broderick
After a billionaire (Alda) steals their retirement money, an apartment building attendant (Stiller) assembles the working class to take back what's theirs with the help of a bumbling criminal (Murphy). A friend of mine put it best regarding Tower Heist when he said it's a giant pros and cons list. Pro: Ben Stiller, who's reinvented himself over the last few years and become much more dependable than he once was (Meet the Fockers aside). Con: Eddie Murphy who hasn't mattered for close to 20 years now. Pro: Casey Affleck and Alan Alda both of whom hold their own no matter how small a part they're given. Con: Matthew Broderick is just depressing to look at these days. Pro: a trailer that has some laughs... Con: ...and ends with A Brett Ratner film." There are very few sentences that can cause me to ride in fear like that one can. Brett Ratner is everything that is wrong with Hollywood and I will never be able to recommend his films.

Value: $5 Put another director in charge of Tower Heist and I'd probably bump it up a few bucks. Also, how many more times are we going to buy into an Eddie Murphy movie hoping that this is the one that brings him back to form? At some point, don't we just have to write the guy off? I guess we'll know for sure after the Oscars.

"A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas" - Kal Penn, John Cho, Neil Patrick Harris
Stoner buddies Harold (Cho) and Kumar (Penn) reunite six years after their last fiasco. Also, they kill Santa. I have seen only parts of the original Harold and Kumar and none of the second. I was also not high during that partial viewing so I'm far from the expert. But I will say two things in defense of this series: 1.) I think if you're between the ages of 16 and 21, the humor within these movies is pretty funny. It doesn't transcend that demographic in my opinion but it scores big where it's intended to. 2.) It deserves full credit for bringing Neil Patrick Harris back into the forefront of our collective consciousness and that's a major win for all of us.

Value: $3 Have a great time, stoners and 16-21 year old males!

"The Son of No One" - Channing Tatum, Al Pacino, Tracy Morgan
A young police officer with a dark secret (Tatum) sees his life spiraling out of control when clues begin to arise concerning the past he left behind. This is the third film from director Dito Montiel and also his third collaboration with Channing Tatum. So can we all agree that he doesn't need to be allowed to make films anymore? I mean, really man, if you're going to hitch your wagon to a single star, shouldn't it be a star who can, you know, act? Even a little?

Value: $0 Pretty much every review I've seen, both from professional critics and jokers like me, has been scathing. As in, "this should never have been made" and "one of the worst movies of the year." Need I say more?

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