Since I saw three movies last weekend and haven't had a chance to review them all as of yet, I'm kind of glad that this week's offerings are almost completely uninteresting to me. No temptation to make time for a movie I don't have time to see.
"Life As We Know It" - Katherine Heigl, Josh Duhamel, Josh Lucas
Two single 30-somethings (Heigl and Duhamel) who can't stand each other are given custody of a baby when their mutual friends die. Somehow they make it through and, shockingly enough, they fall in love. So basically "Raising Helen" with a baby. Two reason I know this movie sucks. 1.) I've seen three or four different versions of the trailer and each one, while containing different footage, has given me snippets of the exact same jokes. Meaning I've already seen every "funny" moment. 2.) Katherine Heigl is involved. Heigl is quickly scaling my Wall of Hatred and seems hell bent on being the first person to successfully challenge John Travolta's right to the throne of Most Insufferable Actor. Completely unlikeable on and off the screen, that one.
"Secretariat" - Diane Lane, John Malkovich, Scott Glenn
The "impossible" true story of the famous race horse and his owner (Lane). First off, I have a problem with the terminology. "Impossible true story" is an oxymoron. If it is in fact a true story then by definition it cannot be impossible. I get what they're trying to say but that's no excuse. Second, I don't care. My mom is going to love this film but I won't. Hopefully for Disney they're not banking on the male age 18-49 demographic because I'm willing to speak for all of us when I say we aren't interested in a movie about a horse starring Diane Lane.
"It's Kind of a Funny Story" - Emma Roberts, Zach Galifianakas, Keir Gilchrist
An overworked teenager (Gilchrist) admits himself into a mental institute where he is inexplicably tossed in with all the adult crazies and one girl his age (Roberts). Soon he develops a friendship with a long-term nut (Galifianakas) and I assume learns to cope with the world. This one looks good and I'm quite interested in seeing it. Unfortunately it's in limited release meaning I'll probably have to wait for DVD. Too bad.
"Nowhere Boy" - Aaron Johnson, Kristen Scott-Thomas
The semi-true (?) tale of John Lennon's upbringing and the formation of the Beatles. Having seen the trailer for this a few times now, I again feel good about speaking for my entire demographic: snooze. Might be a good movie though it looks self-important and generally lackluster. But regardless, we just don't care. Sorry, John.
"My Soul to Take" - Max Thieriot, Denzel Whitaker
From the gotta-be-a-bit-senile-by-now mind of Wes Craven comes a horror movie in which a local boogeyman either comes back from the dead to start killing again or takes over a kid's subconscious and uses him to kill his victims. Either way, people die. IF I liked horror movies, I could find reason to see this. Just not my cup of poison tea.
"Stone" - Robert De Niro, Edward Norton, Milla Jovovich
Concerns a twisted love triangle between a violent prisoner (Norton), his wife (Jovovich), and the man's soon-to-be parole officer (De Niro). This ordinarily would not interest me but as a big Norton fan, let me say this: when he wants to be (and granted, there are plenty of times when he doesn't), Norton can turn himself into one of the finest actors in the game. When he's locked in, there are very few people who can top him. And he's got that look in the trailer. Just sayin'.
We're hitting the part of the year where we're going to see a lot of limited release films and festival darlings that only open in LA and New York. I try to highlight some of the smaller films that come out in an average week but let's be honest: most of these films will never be seen by the average movie goer and that is, after all, the target audience of the Soap Box Office. So, when one really piques my interest (like "It's Kind of a Funny Story"), I'll pass it on, but I'll probably avoid most of the movies none of you will ever see. Just a heads up.