What I Remember About 9/11

There have been thousands of 9/11 tributes written and published over the last few days. If truth be told I don't feel equipped to write a poignant piece of remembrance or to sum up the feelings of a nation on such an infamous and historic anniversary. That's not my thing, really. I write stupid movie reviews and occasionally sports rants and stretching beyond that isn't my strength. But to let a day like this slip by without at least writing something...well, that's not my thing, either. Today I simply offer you a few personal memories about 9/11/01 and invite you to do the same.

I remember where I was when I heard. I was a freshman in college at Harding University in Searcy, Arkansas. My roommate and I were both running late for chapel and as we were heading down the stairs of our dorm, another student said something in passing about "the plane crash." We both went back to our room and saw the first newsflashes.

I remember chapel being a mess. No one knew what was going on or how to act. For possibly the first time in my life I wanted to watch the news and keep up with what was happening but Harding in its infinite wisdom decided it was more important to continue on with chapel and the day's classes. I am still a bit angry by this institutional choice to try to make that day as normal as possible. Because it wasn't normal and we shouldn't have pretended it was.



I remember wanting to watch the news for the first time ever. I can't remember the exact time line but by the time I got out of my first class (which was a complete disaster; the professor cried through the whole class, making Art Appreciation an even bigger waste of time than normal), I'm pretty sure we knew it was a terrorist attack and both of the towers had fallen. I generally hate the news and don't really keep up with world events but on that day I couldn't think of anything else. I skipped class for the rest of the day (along with EVERYONE ELSE) in order to keep up.

I remember the scene in the school's student center. It wasn't completely silent but it was pretty close. Huge groups settled in around the televisions and by the time the lunch hours rolled around, the place was packed. Eventually my roommate and I headed back to our dorm to watch the news in a smaller group.

I remember President Bush's speech. I've never given a rip about politics and I do not exercise my right to vote not because of some belief or principle but because of general apathy. Even still, the speech that Bush delivered was incredible. He was calm and collected but he was firm and compassionate, the symbol of strength that all of us, regardless of political believe, needed to see. I cried a little.



I remember not knowing what in the world to do or how to act. No one trains you for you should react to a terrorist attack. How long do you have to be sad and when is it acceptable to start going back to normal? That's where a lot of the rest of this list comes in.

I remember Conan O'Brien's first show. A lot of people remember David Letterman's first show back after 9/11 but I've always been a loyal Conan guy. At that time, I did two things every weekday without fail: I took a nap and I watched Conan. During his run at NBC, Conan had a number of episodes that showed what a truly professional, thoughtful, and caring person he really is (the Black Out ep, his final ep on the Tonight Show, etc.) but no moment was more significant than his opening monologue on September 18. He gave an incredible speech while at the same time staying true to who he was which made it so much more impactful. He wasn't putting on a show but rather speaking from the heart. And at the end he told us it was okay to laugh a little despite the terrible events of the past week. I cried some but then I laughed. It was a turning point for a lot of people in my generation.



I remember football coming back. The NFL took the week of 9/11 off, obviously, but they came back the following weekend to play a game. A great deal was made about "showing the terrorists that they can't disrupt our lives" and if that works for you, fine. But for me, football coming back was a further step in the process of recovery and more importantly, it was an incredible and moving distraction. We needed sport more than ever before in my lifetime.

I remember Saturday Night Live. I wasn't the faithful SNL watcher then that I am now but that episode was a much watch. At the beginning Paul Simon played his famous song "The Boxer" surrounded by some of New York City's finest and after it, Lorne Michaels turned to Rudy Giuliani and simply asked, "Can we be funny?" to which Rudy replied, "Why start now?" Quite honestly, the episode was, in fact, not funny but it didn't matter. Much like what Conan did on his show, Lorne and his crew made it clear that while we would always remember what happened, it was alright to begin the process of moving on.

I remember the video for Ryan Adams' "New York New York." I had barely heard of Ryan Adams at that time but when his video came on vh1 late one night while I was studying, I was glued to the screen. Shot only days before 9/11, it is one of the last pieces of film to feature the Twin Towers before their destruction. One of my favorite songs from an artist who's become on of my favorites, "New York New York" was a touching tribute.



I remember President Bush's first pitch in the World Series. Like every one else who isn't from New York and has a lick of sense, I hate the Yankees and I actively rooted against the Yanks in the 2001 World Series. But when President Bush stepped out before Game 3 of the series to throw out the opening pitch...total goosebumps. And then he NAILED the pitch. Say what you will about W but to throw a strike under that kind of pressure with a massive bullet proof vest strapped to his chest...that's impressive.

I remember chapel a few days after the attacks. I'll be honest when I say I really disliked chapel for the majority of my time at Harding. I had a lot of issues with what took place and the number of times I wanted to scratch my eyes out FAR outnumbered the times I actually had a meaningful experience. But a few days after the attacks, our service was led by a guy who was in the Reserves and whose unit had been called up to go to Afghanistan. He would ship out within a few days. I do not remember his name nor what he said but I remember the gist of his presentation was a call to hold dear the freedoms we have in this country and to know that those freedoms are worth fighting for. And he, too, told us to return to normalcy as best we could. It was important to hear that message from Conan and to see it displayed by the NFL and MLB but it was equally important to hear it from a service man, a guy who would very soon be manning the front lines of battle and had more right than others to demand that we continue our solemn behaviors. That was a key for me and I believe many others.

Thanks for allowing me a departure from the generic movie reviews and news that you occasionally browse through when you have nothing better to do. I promise we'll get back to our regularly scheduled, mediocre programming tomorrow.

Movie News Today

Colin Firth will play a WWII POW in "Railway Man." Could be a nice chance for him to finally break out. Wait...

Oscar winning actor Cliff Robertson, who played Uncle Ben in the "Spiderman" franchise, died yesterday at age 88. Rest in peace, Cliff.

Ron Howard will direct "364" about a man who has super powers for one day each year. Gotta say, that sounds awesome.

Mel Gibson would like to write and direct a film about Jewish hero Judah Maccabee. A.) This will never happen, particularly since the Anti-Defamation League has already lodged a complaint. B.) Come on, Mel. I get the desire to publicly make up with the Jewish community but how did you think they were going to react to you trying to make a film about one of their heroes? No chance, dude.

Weekend Box Office Results
Well, America, I've never been prouder of you. You'll notice in the list below that our top 10 DOES NOT include one "Bucky Larson" aka "The Odds on Winner for Worst Picture at the Razzies." That heap of rubbish made only $1.45 million on opening weekend and will likely be out of theaters entirely within another week. Thank you all for not supporting this film and for saving me the trouble of tracking you all down for the punching you would have deserved.

1. "Contagion" - $21.15M
2. "The Help" - $8.69M ($137.09M)
3. "Warrior" - $5.6M
4. "The Debt" - $4.91M ($21.99M)
5. "Colombiana" - $4M ($29.78M)
6. "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" - $3.87M ($167.84M)
7. "Shark Night 3D" - $3.53M ($14.79M)
8. "Apollo 18" - $2.91M ($15M)
9. "Our Idiot Brother" - $2.76M ($21.42M)
10. "Spy Kids 4" - $2.51M ($34.23M)

Weekend Movie Guide

"Warrior" - Joel Edgerton, Tom Hardy, Nick Nolte
Two brothers, one a war hero (Hardy) the other a struggling teacher (Edgerton), meet in an MMA fight with a major cash prize on the line. I get goosebumps just watching the trailer for this film and the early buzz is overwhelmingly positive with some reviews pointing to award attention for Hardy and Nolte. Edgerton is on my Barry Pepper All-Star Team (guys who rarely get starring roles and never get much attention but are always awesome) but "Warrior" is the first in a string of films over the next 18 months which may graduate him off of the team. Director Gavin O'Connor knows how to make a good sports film ("Miracle") and "Warrior" should further his reputation.

Value: $10 "Warrior" is already Certified Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes and looks to be a winner.

"Contagion" - Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Marion Cotillard, Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow
A deadly virus will spread across the globe unless the Center for Disease Control can stop it. First of all, as I've said many times before, if Matt Damon is in, I'm in. It's just that simple. The rest of the cast is dynamite and Steven Soderbergh is a director who always piques my interest even if the finished product isn't that great. The perception of "Contagion" among the major critics seems to always be in flux. Prior to this week's screenings, it's seemed that some think it could be a dark horse Best Picture contender while some think it will be nothing more than a big budget horror flick. That could cause an identity crisis but regardless of award consideration, this film has such a strong pedigree that I have a hard time imagining it won't be good.

Value: $8 The uncertainty of the film's overriding intention (horror, thriller, or Oscar bait?) gives me pause for concern but I'm betting it'll be worth your time.

"Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star" - Nick Swardson, Don Johnson, Christina Ricci
I'm not even going to sum up this steaming pile of crap. I refuse. If you've been able to avoid the EXTENSIVE ad campaign and want to know what this movie is about, you'll have to go elsewhere to find it. In my time as a film nerd, I've come across some pretty bad films but I honestly cannot think of a movie that needs to exist less than "Bucky Larson."

Value: -$1000 If you see this movie for any other reason that you are being forced to review it, please comment on this page and leave your address because I'm going to come to your house and ask for money because obviously you have more of it than you know what to do with. Also, I'm going to punch you.

"Main Street" - Colin Firth, Patricia Clarkson, Ellen Burstyn (limited)
A small community is turned upside down by the arrival of a stranger (Firth) with a radical plan to save the town. I don't know a whole lot about "Main Street" and I'm not alone in that. An indie film with a solid cast, it apparently didn't turn out the way everyone thought it would and the studio has essentially buried it in terms of advertising. Oh well.

Value: $2 "Main Street" will appear on HDNet in the coming days if you have that station as part of your cable package and it might be worth checking out there. But as far as a theater viewing goes...I'll pass.

"Creature" - Mehcad Brooks, Serinda Swan, Daniel Bernhardt (limited)
A low budget, cheese-tastic horror flick about a group of campers who stumble across a mythical beast in a backwoods swamp. There's not really much more that can be said here so...

Value: $1 If you're into this type of film you could probably do worse...like "Shark Night 3D."

Review: "50/50"

My "50/50" review is posted at I Eat Films.

Since I was able to see "50/50" so far in advance, I'd like to do that thing where I link to my review at another site and then I promise I won't make a habit of this. We could use all the traffic we can get over at I Eat Films so if you would like to see my thoughts on this film, please follow the link. SPOILER ALERT: I love this movie.

Movie News Today

Sharlto Copley has signed on for "Europa" which sounds awesome. Really dig Copley, hoping this turns out well.

Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger will have much bigger roles in "The Expendables 2" but then again so will John Travolta. So I'm pretty sure you all know where I come down on this one.

Steven Spielberg is working on all cylinders these days and his next project (after the two he has at the end of the year and his "Lincoln" biopic next year) will be "Robopocalypse" and is set for a July 2013 release date. Spielberg+Sci-Fi=Me in attendance opening weekend.

Michael Shannon has let it be known that the costume for his General Zod in "Man of Steel" will be CGI. Because it worked so well in "Green Lantern." Wait...

Anomalous Material gives us 5 remakes that are better than the original. Co-sign.

The AV Club gives their picks for the worst episodes of great TV shows. Fun stuff.

It's going to be a few weeks until I get to see "Drive" so in the meantime, check out Matt's review over at Cinema Slants.

"The Debt"

I’ve always had a slight fascination with Nazi war criminals and their pursuers. I can’t tell you why, exactly, other than the obvious appeal of justice being done but regardless, the whole concept always piques my interest. I never miss a film that centers on this subject and if I come across a TV show that delves into the subject, I’ll record it every time. “The Debt”, therefore, has been on my radar for quite some time. Originally slated for a late 2010 release, it’s been pushed back a couple of times until finally being dumped at the end of the summer, which is never a good sign. Still, with its quality cast and interesting subject matter I went in to “The Debt” with relatively high expectations and was rewarded nicely for my patience.

In 1966, three young Mossad agents are sent to East Berlin and given the task of capturing Nazi doctor Dieter Vogel (Jesper Christensen) and bringing him to trial in Israel. The team consists of Stephan (Marton Csokas), David (Sam Worthington), and Rachel (Jessica Chastain), who is the key to their plan as Vogel, known as the Surgeon of Birkenau, has been working as a fertility doctor since the end of the war. Posing as a wife unable to get pregnant, Rachel drugs Vogel and her teammates smuggle him out of the clinic. But when their plan to get him across the Berlin Wall fails, the agents are left to wait in East Berlin with their silver tongued hostage. On a rainy New Year’s Eve, Vogel is shot dead during an escape attempt, allowing the agents to return home without their prize but as heroes nonetheless.  We fast forward 30 years when rumors begin to circulate about a great secret the agents have held on to since that fateful night in Berlin. With their reputations on the line, it is left up to Rachel (now played by Helen Mirren) to cover up their secret once and for all.

“The Debt” weaves a compelling tale that doesn’t so much keep you guessing as it does keep you engaged, a slow burn that stalls at times but never becomes boring. It’s a fairly straight forward thriller though the narrative unfolds in a non-linear form, jumping back and forth between 1966 and 1997. “The Debt” is taut and director John Madden (not that John Madden though now that I think about yes, yes I would watch a movie director by that John Madden) does an excellent job of keeping the film’s momentum moving through the first two acts. The third act was a bit of a letdown for me. The conclusion is fairly obvious and while I don’t think it was the desire of the filmmaker’s plan to keep the twist a giant secret (I believe you’re intended to know the majority of what’s going to happen) I would have liked the film to get to it with a little more urgency.

Where “The Debt” excels is in the outstanding performances of its pitch perfect cast. Top billing goes to the older versions of the Mossad agents, Mirren, Tom Wilkinson (Stephan), and Ciaran Hinds (David), and each hold their own. Mirren is asked to do the most work amongst these three and she does a solid job of exhibiting the mark that the weight a 30 year secret would leave on a person. Wilkinson isn’t used much, quite honestly, and isn’t given much to work with. Hinds, though, is exquisite in each of his limited scenes. One of my very favorite “Actors Who Rarely Get Starring Roles but Are Always Awesome No Matter How Little Attention They Get” (a list known as the “Barry Pepper All-Stars”), Hinds absolutely nails his role and made me want for more. As their younger versions, both Csokas and Worthington give strong portrayals. Their characters are dramatically different, Stephan overflowing with arrogance and confidence while David boils with quiet rage, and each is given depth by the actors. Jespersen, too, gives Vogel a terrifying aura of refined hatred and menace. Vogel really isn’t given much room to develop but Jespersen makes the most of his screen time.

But in the end, “The Debt” hangs entirely on the performance of Chastain who gives Rachel equal parts fear and courage, which is exactly what I would imagine an inexperienced field agent would have when confronted with a monster like Vogel. Her portrayal is measured and cautious and often her best moments are those in which she does not speak but instead lets her eyes and body language do the talking. You have to wonder what life must be like for Chastain, an actress that virtually no one had heard of at the beginning of the year. With only a handful of credits to her name, the best of which is a short stay on one of the “Law and Order” spinoffs, by the end of the year, she will have appeared in no less than six films in 2011 and has vaulted herself into the “Leading Lady” category. In a film featuring some incredible actors who have garnered a ton of attention over the years, it is Chastain who stands out and who carries the film. It is a terrific performance.

In the end, I don’t think “The Debt” as a whole is equal to the sum of its better parts. There’s a lot of good here but beyond Chastain, there’s nothing truly great about the film. Madden and his group of writers (including “X-Men: First Class” director Matthew Vaughn) have crafted a quality thriller that has plenty of moments but isn’t overly impressive. In essence, it is good but not special, though certainly worth the price of admission.

Grade: B+

Would that John Madden use a telestrator on his own film?

Brian

DVD Roundup - 9/6

Remember how I've been telling you for the last couple weeks that things are going to get better in the DVD department? BOOM! Here it is.

X-Men: First Class (2011) - Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy, Rose Byrne
Set against the backdrop of the Cold War, "First Class" tells the story of the formation of the X-Men and the contentious relationship between Doctor Charles Xavier (McAvoy) and Erik Lehnserr (Fassbender). One of the very best summer blockbusters this year had to offer, "First Class" is an advanced course in how to do a prequel the right way. Solid story, awesome action, and one top notch performance (Fassbender). I would say it's one of the best super hero movies ever.

In Home Viewing Recommendation: "First Class" comes highly recommended. Check this one out ASAP if you missed it in theaters.

Hanna (2011) - Saorise Ronan, Eric Bana, Cate Blanchett
After spending the first 16 years of her life training in a remote cabin with her father (Bana), a would-be assassin (Ronan) is turned loose in order to track down a CIA agent (Blanchett). "Hanna" got generally positive reviews but if truth be told, an exciting concept and a few great action scenes were not enough to keep me from HATING this film. Noisy, distracting, and much more creepy than I'd have liked. The more I've thought about "Hanna", the more I've come to dislike it and I don't think you could pay me to see it again.

IHVR: Bear in mind that my feelings toward this film were DEFINITELY in the minority. There's no question that it's a well made film but know the risks up front.

Everything Must Go (2010) - Will Ferrell, Rebecca Hall, Christopher Jordan Wallace
After a particularly rough bender, a man (Ferrell) returns home to find that his wife has moved all of his possessions on to the front lawn and changed the locks. Instead of loading up and moving out, he holds an extended garage sale while sleeping outside. I've been saying it for years and it's time for the rest of the world to get on board: Will Ferrell is an EXCELLENT actor. Yes, he resorts to his comfortable man-child role more often than not but when given the chance to stretch himself a bit, he generally delivers. Personally, I can't wait to see this film and I'm expecting good things.

IHVR: I think this film is worth your time even if you're not a ridiculously loyal Ferrell fan like me.

The Office: Season 7 (2010) - Steve Carell, John Krasinski, Rainn Wilson
At one point my very favorite TV show, I think we can all admit "The Office" has fallen off a bit over the last few years. Season Seven, while not a full return to the glory of Season Three, was a quality year and a definite upgrade over the last couple of seasons. In fact, I'd say Michael Scott's exit from Dunder Mifflin is one of the better episodes the show has ever done. Overall, this season is good, not great, but definitely worthwhile.

IHVR: If, like several of my friends, you gave up on "The Office" during the lackluster fifth or sixth season, this is a good time to pick it back up.

Community: Season 2 (2010) - Joel McHale, Allison Brie, Donald Glover
This sitcom, centering around a group of students at a community college, is quite the enigma. On some levels it is complete and total genius filled with intelligence, witty references, and well defined characters. But then every fourth or fifth episode is a complete dud that sours my appetite and forces me to let the episodes stack up on my DVR before I jump back in. If you were to take the top 15 episodes from the season and pretend the others didn't exist, "Community" is incredible. As it is, though...

IHVR: In the defense of "Community", it is one of those shows that plays better on DVD than it does in a week-to-week format. At least two episodes from last year (the DND ep and the season finale) are PERFECT and those alone make this a worthwhile endeavor.

Fringe: Season 3 (2010) - Anna Torv, Joshua Jackson, John Noble
The little sci-fi show that just won't quit, "Fringe" is a favorite of mine and one that truly deserves the attention it is slowly starting to garner. The stories are dynamic and engrossing, it features quality acting, and it keeps you guessing from one week to the next. In my mind this is the best true sci-fi show since "The X-Files" (excluding "Firefly").

IHVR: Definitely should check this out if you have any interest in sci-fi/thrillers. But, do yourself a favor and watch the first two seasons before this one. Some shows you can start off at any point and pick it up; "Fringe" isn't one of them.

Pick of the Week 
None of the new Blu Rays piqued my interest this week so I'm devoting extra attention to...

Parks and Recreation: Season 3 (2010) - Amy Poehler, Aziz Ansari, Nick Offerman
Last week I called "Sons of Anarchy" the best show on television and I stand by that. "Parks and Rec" is the best comedy on television and really, it's not even close. The run that this show has been on since the mid point of Season Two is comparable to that of "Arrested Development", my hands down favorite show of all time. This show is absolutely HILARIOUS and it pretty much never misses. I'm begging you to give this a chance if you've been ignoring it and here's why: when "Arrested Development" was still on the air and wanting for viewers, I was telling everyone who would listen that the show was amazing and they needed to watch it. No one listened to me, it got cancelled at least two seasons too early, and now, seven years after it went off the air, all people do is talk about how great the show was and wonder how it got cancelled. I'm terrified that this exact fate awaits "Parks and Recreation" and honestly, I'm not sure I can take it. Don't let me down, dear readers.

IHVR: Seasons 1 and 2 are on Netflix Instant. It starts off slow but so did "The Office" and I think that show more than paid back the patience of early viewers. Just watch this show. Do it now.

Also New:
Last Night (2010) - Sam Worthington, Keira Knightley
Criminal Minds: Season 6 (2010) - Joe Mantegna, Thomas Gibson
Two and a Half Men: Season 8 (2010) - Jon Cryer, Charlie Sheen
No Ordinary Family: The Complete Series (2010) - Michael Chiklis, Julie Benz

New to Blu
Scarface (1983) - Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer
Straw Dogs (1971) - Dustin Hoffman, Susan George
The Caine Mutiny (1954) - Humphrey Bogart, Jose Ferrer
United 93 (2006) - David Alan BascheOlivia Thirlby
40 Days and 40 Nights (2002) - Josh Hartnett, Shannyn Sossamon

Movie News Today

Vin Diesel is talking up the next "Riddick" film and has some concept art to boot. Again I must say, I really dig the "Riddick" series. I shouldn't, but I do. Deal with it.

Eddie Murphy is in talks to host the 2012 Academy Awards. I just had a HEATED discussion with a good friend of mine about the pros and cons of Murphy in general. I take the negative side; I believe the Eddie Murphy that existed in the early '80s is no longer alive and that, like Nicholas Cage, he is now incapable of doing anything worthwhile. My buddy contends that the Oscars will be his moment of rejuvenation. I will say this: this is your shot, Eddie. I'm watching the Oscars no matter what; I made it through Anne Hathaway so I can make it through anything. Impress me, Eddie. Impress me and an entire generation of filmgoers that think of you as nothing more than the voice of Donkey on "Shrek."

Player Affinity discusses the lackluster summer Hollywood had and pinpoints one of the major issues. Check it out.

Flix Chatter discusses a couple of things Hollywood could learn from Steve Jobs. Well done.

Weekend Box Office Returns
Two movies got my money this week and wouldn't you know, they're this week's one-two punch. "The Debt" is definitely worth your time while "The Help" is excellent. And somehow "Shark Night 3D" made over $8 million dollars. Shame on all of you.

1. "The Help" - $14.6 million ($118.99 million total)
2. "The Debt" - $9.91M ($11.82M)
3. "Apollo 18" - $8.7M
4. "Shark Night 3D" - $8.39M
5. "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" - $7.9M ($160.13M)
6. "Colombiana" - $7.45M ($22.01M)
7. "Our Idiot Brother" - $5.47M ($15.7M)
8. "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" - $5.14M ($16.58M)
9. "Spy Kids 4" - $4.82M ($29.22M)
10. "The Smurfs" - $4.1M ($132.05M)

Weekend Movie Guide

"The Debt" - Helen Mirren, Jessica Chastain, Sam Worthington
30 years after three young Mossad agents track down and kill a Nazi war criminal, a dark secret comes back to haunt the group. "The Debt" has been sitting on a shelf for some time, having had at least a couple of release dates. It finally settled in at the end of the summer (it actually opened on Wednesday) and has garnered positive if unspectacular reviews. Chastain continues her incredible year as this is her third film of the year with at least three more to come before the year is up. Quite a run for an actress who had virtually no credits to her name when 2011 began.

Value: $8 I was able to see "The Debt" Wednesday (review to come soon) and found it to be quite solid. Chastain alone is worth the price of admission.

"Apollo 18" - Warren Christie, Lloyd Owen
A found footage film that centers around a secret moon landing and the reason why the US has never gone back. Director Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego is going all out here on the found-footage bit, going so far as to leave his actors uncredited. I am always, ALWAYS, up for a quality, low-budget sci-fi film but I'm wary about this movie straying too close to the horror end of sci-fi for my tastes. The trailer is killer, though, and if done right this could be a major hit in relation to its budget ($5 million).

Value: $7 If I could confidently say this film would stay on the sci-fi/thriller end and not cross over into full on horror, I'd be much more interested. I think it could be worth your time but I'm not sure.

"Shark Night: 3D" - Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan, Chris Carmack
A group of vacationing college kids have their lake house retreat disturbed by the arrival of fresh water sharks. Oh boy. Look, if you're going to see "Shark Night 3D" you're not expecting a high quality film. This is a B-movie if ever there was one. My problem with this film is the the PG-13 rating. What's the point? You've put together a cheap end-of-summer horror flick and probably crammed it with cheesy 3D images. We can all guess there will be scantily clad females and hard partying. So why stop at PG-13? Why not go full bore and pick up the R-rating? If you're going to rip off "Pirahna" then you might as well do it right. Is there an audience for a watered down B-movie? I'm not so sure.

Value: $1 If you're into cheesy, low-rent horror films, I guess this fits the bill?

"A Good Old Fashioned Orgy" - Jason Sudeikis, Leslie Bibb, Tyler Labine
With access to his father's beach house over a long weekend, a party guy (Sudeikis) talks his friends into living up to this film's title. Because, you know, "Zack and Mimi Make a Porno" made soooo much money. I love Sudeikis; total genius. But you couldn't pay me to be see this movie.

Value: $0 Nothing good can come from this. Nothing.

"Saving Private Perez" - Miguel Rodarte, Jesus Ochoa, Joaquin Cosio
A Mexican crime lord (Rodarte) heads to Iraq to rescue his POW brother. I normally don't write about foreign films (which I'm guessing this is?) in this space but I saw the trailer for "Perez" a couple of months ago and it was the weirdest thing that I've ever experienced in a theater. After it rolled the entire theater was completely silent, like they weren't sure exactly what they'd just seen until some funny guy (read: "me") said rather loudly, "What just freaking happened?!" I just thought it needed to be noted.

Value: $??? I've no idea what to think about this film, I just think you should see the trailer for yourself.

Movie News Today

The "Wolverine" sequel is getting a rewrite, this time by the guy who penned the mind numbingly dumb "Unstoppable." I'm getting more and more nervous about this project all the time.

John Moore ("Max Payne") has been pegged to direct the next "Die Hard" film. Really? The "Max Payne" guy? Boo.

I can't really summarize the idea behind the next film by the Coen Brothers so just check it out for yourself and trust that I'll be there opening day no matter what.

Vulture asks "What's really going on over at AMC" and tries to answer the question. Good read. It would be a shame to see a network with so many great TV shows go down in flames.

John Likes Movies DESTROYS "Colombiana", hopefully saving all of you from falling prey.

The Morning Thunder Buffalo makes some very valid points regarding the changes to the "Star Wars" films which will show up in the Blu Ray versions. Curse you, George Lucas.